Just went to our Adoption Training today and last night and were enlightened greatly. Wow! To all those who have gone through the process of adoption, you are my new heroes.
The first day of training was completely overwhelming as they inform us we are basically trying to sell ourselves online, and it will be much like an online dating thing? Yikes! As we heard all of the other couples and the things that they had done so far and ideas of what to do to "sell" yourself out there...Dan and I were left feeling completely "UN-COOL."
Next day, went in feeling pumped for more knowlege and excited to hear more from those couples who we were beginning to build new relationships with, then got completely knocked off my seat when the panel of birth mothers started to share their stories of placing and the struggles and joys and the bitter sweet experiences that they have. I cried with them, and then kept going when they stopped, I just wanted to take each of them and heal their pain and make it all better. It absolutely broke my heart. I almost couldn't take in the last two, my tissues were shreds and my heart was shocked, hadn't cried like that for a really long time thanks to good emotional drugs.
I am tremendously greatful for the experience and I will forever be changed as my perspective for birth mothers and fathers has been completely enlightened. I feel these people are such special spirits to be able to be strong enough to go through this great hardship for the love of their child. I am left feeling like I can never whine or feel like I have any troubles again to call trials. I can't imagine anything that compares to their experiences.
I am so scared to get to this stage. I don't want to make anyone hurt like that ever, it breaks my heart. I just want to hold them and tell them everything will be okay, except I can't do anything, I feel completely helpless. I am so thankful for my Savior's sacrifice, he is the only one who can understand, and take the hurt and heal and bring peace. That was one thing that I was so thankful to hear each of the birthmother's say was the peace that they felt and the answers to prayers about the families that they placed their child with. I am thankful to have been able to go to this training to learn more and to get an idea of what is to come.
It looks like I will be spending a good chunck of my life in a constant prayer to get through this. I am so thankful for a sweet husband who held my hand and through the tears and put his arm around me and tried to comfort me when I drained my tears as we listened and ached for those who were sharing their hearts with us.
THANK YOU!
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6 comments:
First of all, you are totally COOL and don't let all that talk about selling yourself scare you. It is like that, but not really. It really is about being you and the RIGHT Birth Family will find you with the help of someone much greater than ourselves. I'm so glad you guys did the classes. We'll have to talk more sometime about what you thought.
I am feeling a little better about the right Birth Family will find us, and we will be the right one for them. I do believe that. I am nervous about being competitive in putting ourselves out there though, who wouldn't be. In the spotlight is not either of our strengths. It will be after this is through though, I am seeing Dan shine. I love him more and more through these experiences, and I am so thankful for that.
I don't know if you knew this but my sister gave a baby up for adoption...and let me tell you, it IS one of the hardest thing that a woman will EVER go through. Me being on the sidelines and being her birthing partner when she brought that beautiful baby into this world was the most glorious and heartbreaking thing, knowing that this baby that brought the Spirit of the Lord into the room was meant for someone else.
With that being said, the process of Becca choosing the family that her baby went to had nothing to do with popularity or coolness. Once my sister decided to give that baby to someone else, Heavenly Father was BOUND to His promise to guide her when choosing the family. The family that received that baby was not the coolest, or most talented, or the most beautiful...but they were the RIGHT family.
On a side note, I think we should plan a girl's night out with old friends...what do you say?
Pass me an email. My blog is private...you'll need an invite if you want to see it :) No pressure :p
schmugal@gmail.com
Oh Amy I am so excited for you. Hang in there.
After watching Andrea go through this I have a SMALL idea of what is ahead for you. Know that you guys are in our prayers, and we are rooting for you!
Your feelings are the same exact way I felt going through our process of adoption......
We really relied on the Lord during our time of our papers were in & phone calls that we were picked & to have two of them fail & one that we were actually there for the birth & all & to feel like your going to have a chance at being for us first time parents & wanting it so bad then to not come home with a baby was hard, but in the 6 wks of our papers being in & being picked 3 times is a blessing & to go through the hardships & emotions & trials that will come from all of this makes for a sweeter loving closeness with your Heavenly Father & husband....
Keep the faith! Heavenly father truly knows what baby is suppose to be yours & it will all fall into place! I promise:) it happened to us!
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